2012 - ein verlorenes Jahr?

Ist es das? Wenn man bedenkt, dass das hier ein Abnehmblog ist und ich mehr wiege als vor 12 Monaten, dann war das Jahr zumindest in der Hinsicht nicht sehr erfolgreich.

Allerdings hab ich echt viel gelernt. Über mich, meine Schwierigkeiten mit dem Essen, mit mir...ich hab so viel neues gelernt und altes zurückerinnert.
Da bleibt natürlich die Frage, warum ich nichts ändere.
Warum fällt es mir so schwer, im Dschungel der Ernährungsrichtungen, die rauszupicken, die für mich passt.
Warum fällt es mir so schwer, Dinge wegzulassen, von denen ich weiß, dass sie mir nicht gut tut.
Egal, ob es um Essen, Menschen oder Zeitvertreibe geht.
Ich kann nicht loslassen. Ich halte krampfhaft fest an Verhaltensweisen, die mir nicht mal gut tun.
Ich esse Sachen, von denen ich weiß, dass es mir danach nicht nur nicht besser geht sondern gar schlechter und bei denen ich schon beim Essen denke *hmmm...gar nicht sooo lecker*.

Sinn macht das alles nicht. Wenn man es allerdings in Zusammenhang mit meiner Geschichte, dem Verlieren und Verlassen von Menschen setzt und dem Verhalten von Menschen, die eigentlich hätten uneingeschränkt für mich da sein müssen...vielleicht macht es dann schon wieder mehr Sinn, dass ich selbst an Dingen festhalte, die gar nicht gut für mich sind.

Ich habe mit vielem noch nicht abgeschlossen und ich bin mir auch noch nicht sicher, ob und wie ich das hinbekomme.
Aber ich weiß, ich werde es schaffen.
Ich gebe nämlich nicht auf. Ich hab zumindest eines erkannt: dass ich mir wichtig bin und dass ich es mirwert bin, an mir, meinem Glück und meiner Gesundheit zu arbeiten.
Und ich werde einen Weg finden!
Wenn es nach mir ginge, natürlich gerne gleich am 01.01.
Aber ich weiß inzwischen, so läuft es bei mir nicht. Der perfekte Plan, der perfekte Zeitpunkt, das kann ich nicht vorher bestimmen. Auch nicht, wenn sie die Zahl noch so schön anhört.
Dafür muss es Klick machen...und wenn es Klick gemacht hätte, dann könnte ich auch heute anfangen.

Und auch wenn das vielleicht alles ist, was ich dieses Jahr gelernt habe, dann ist es zumindest für mich kein verlorenes Jahr.

Was ich mir für 2013 wünsche? Glück, Gesundheit, zur Ruhe kommen und meinen Weg finden!
Das wünsche ich mir für mich, für meine Familie und meine Freunde und für euch alle auch, falls ihr denn überhaupt noch auf der Suche seid.

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